Preparation For The New Year

*Five Things To Do In Preparation For 2017*

It’s just few days to the end of 2016 and the world anticipates 2017. For some 2016 was a great year, from the beginning of the year till now, they’ve had so many achievements and successes. For some others, it came and passed as usual, there was nothing special or different about the year while for many others, it was a bad year; they had things go roughly for them.

No matter which category you fall into, if you are still alive, you have hope for a better tomorrow. I believe you’ll like to have a better experience in 2017. I brought you five things to do in preparation for the next year.

*Be Hopeful*
This is the first thing you need to do. I know the recession may have dealt with you badly but you still need to have hope for a better year. Don’t think you can’t do better than what you did this year and don’t think things will get worst. Hope for a better tomorrow, hope for the best; this will give you the morale you need to launch into the new year.

*Review Your 2016 goals*

Do a crosscheck of the goals you had in 2016, mark out the ones you achieved, mark out the ones you didn’t complete and mark out the ones you were not able to do at all.

If you achieved all your goals, you still need to do a brief review; check how you achieved those goals and what errors you made in the process. Outline how you can achieve those same goals easier and with less struggles.

If you didn’t meet some targets, outline what the challenge was; what stopped you. Write out the possible solutions. If you don’t know, start searching for information, search for answers, search for solutions that’ll make your 2017 easy for you.

*Write out your targets for the next year*

These could be new targets or the ones you are carrying over from 2016. Break your goals into smaller ones and also write out your action points.

Edit and reedit your written goals. You may have to remove some or add some. Remember to plan with available resources and your estimated income for 2017.

*Do a check on your friends*

What I mean by this is you should take note of the kind of friends you keep. The wrong association could be one of those things that made you miss some of your targets last year, so take note of some of the friends you need to avoid this year and the ones you need to keep.

For example, you may have a friend who shows up everytime you just received your salary and is always able to convince you to spend on drinks you didn’t plan for. This could reduce your savings and disrupt your other plans. Try as much as possible to put away friends that never adds value to you.

*Plan Your Expenditure*

I know of course that the recession may be one of the reasons you didn’t hit your targets this year but as the next year approaches, plan with that little amount you’re getting now. Cut off unnecessary expenses , I already told you one way to do this is to put away unnecessary friends and association.

Also don’t buy unnecessary things that’s not in your plan, better still, don’t put unnecessary things in your budget. If it could be done away with, please do.

I’ll drop my pen at this point. You could also drop your points and let me learn from you.

Chidex!

A Real Nigerian

Donald Trump trying to paint the White House.
.
He invited contractors from China, Europe and Nigeria.
.
He asks the Chinese contractor how much he will charge. He said 3 million dollars.
_
He asks the European contractor how much he will charge. He said 7 million dollars.
_
He asks the Nigerian contractor how much he will charge. He said 10 million dollars.
….
Trump goes back to the Chinese and asked “Why 3 million?”
The Chinese said “1 million for the paint, 1 million for the labor and 1 million profit.”
_
He then goes to the European and asked “Why 7 million?”
The European reply “2m for the best quality paint, 3m for the specialized labor, and 2m profit.”
_
Trump finally goes to the Nigerian and asked “Why 10 million?”
The Nigerian replied, “Your Excellency, let’s sit down and have a talk, man to man. You see 3m for you, 4m for me and with 3m we shall hire the Chinese Contractor and the contract is done. Everybody will be happy. You, me and the American people.
.
Donald Trump: Hey! Give that contract to the Nigerian and tell others to go home.
.
#_Season_Greetings
IamChidex.

And That’s How The Fight Started.

*That Is How The Fight Started:*

After church on Sunday, a wife saw her husband sitting quietly in the garden. She got concerned and decided to ask him,

Wife: Hey darling, why are you sitting so quietly in the garden? What is it that is bothering you?

Husband:I’m still thinking about the confession of our pastor. It’s making me uncomfortable.

Wife: What is it?”

Husband: The pastor confessed he slept with all married and single women in the church but ONLY ONE woman didn’t want to sleep with him because she fears God.”

Wife: It must be that Madam Comfort! She thinks she’s better than everyone of us!
******************

*AND THAT’S HOW THE FIGHT STARTED!*
Chidex!

Lol….Just Imagine!

Imagine if animals were to be on facebook,we’ll be seeing posts and comments like…………

MOSQUITO WALL POST:😁😁😄
finally PHCN don off light,blood sucking things..
COMMENTS:
a):fuck up,dey don put on gen 4 my area😢😢😢
b)abeg bros which area u dey?my people don fleet house oh😕😕

DOG WALL POST😦😦😦
Na wa oh…..i neva even stay reach 5 mins,all these calabar people don dey eye me..*ghost mode activated,them no go see me*escaping things on my mind.
COMMENTS:
My neighbour nah calabar too,the man eyes no good for where dogs dey….i go bite am soon😠😠😠😠

RAT WALL POST😧😥😦
omo nah die i dey oh….no food for my master kitchen… na him books and certificate go suffer am, he think say i come im house to watch tv Mtchew!!
COMMENT
ur master stingy oo, chop im wife own too 😏

HE-GOAT WALL POST😍😍😜
heat mood activated, any she goat online 4 s*x chat please?
COMMENT
She goat: @he goat ,u’re a capital BIG FOOL
he goat: @she goat:pretender,as if u no dey interested. carry ur smelling backside comot 4 here joor

COCK WALL POST😟😟
All this hen go dey run lyk say dey no like me. But if u catch dem, dem go obey quickly, set 4 our usual style…..yeye ashawo hen …lol
COMMENT
1) ur own beta nah, u dey still catch dem, d ones for my area na fast nd furious ooo….i don pursue tire conji wan kill me
2) My guy d ones for my area too spoil dey don finish my strength 😂😂😂

#Lol.
I am Chidex

Headies Award. Complete List

Headies Updates

Winners of Headies 2016 awards

Hall of Fame
*LAOLU AKINS*

Special Recognition
*Flavour*

Best recording of the year
EMERGENCY – D’BANJ
*PRAY FOR ME – DAREY* *FEAT. SOWETO*
*CHOIR* Winner
LOVE DON’T CARE – SIMI
ORENTE – ADEKUNLE GOLD
SOMETHING GOOD IS HAPPENING – BRYMO

PRODUCER OF THE YEAR
DJ COUBLON ‘GOOD TIME & RABA’
PHEELS – ‘PICK UP & LAGOS BOYS’ –
OLAMIDE
LEGENDURY BEATS – ‘FINAL – BABA NLA’
WIZKID
*YOUNG JOHN – ‘MAMA’ – KISS DANIEL* Winner
MASTAKRAFT – ‘FADA FADA’, ‘CONNECT’
PHYNO
OSCAR HERMAN-ACKAH – ‘PRAY FOR ME’ –
DAREY

BEST MUSIC VIDEO
EMERGENCY (D’BANJ) – UNLIMITED LA
MARY (SEYI SHAY) – MEJI ALABI
*SOLDIER (FALZ THA BAD GUY) –*
*CLARENCE PETERS* Winner
MADE FOR YOU – BANKY W
BAD – TIWA SAVAGE FEAT. WIZKID –
SESAN

BEST R&B/POP ALBUM
*NEW ERA – KISS DANIEL* Winner
WANTED – WANDE COAL
KLITORIS – BRYMO
NAKED – DAREY
SEYI OR SHAY – SEYI SHAY

BEST R&B SINGLE
LOVE DON’T CARE – SIMI
MADE FOR YOU – BANKY W
SUPER WOMAN – WANDE COAL
*PRAY FOR ME – DAREY* Winner
ADUKE – TJAN
SMILE – SHAYDEE

BEST POP SINGLE
MAMA – KISS DANIEL
FINAL (BABA NLA) – WIZKID
PICK UP – ADEKUNLE GOLD
OSINACHI – HUMBLESMITH FEAT. DAVIDO
*REGGAE BLUES – HARRYSONG FEAT.*
*OREZI, IYANYA, OLAMIDE, KCEE* Winner
EMERGENCY – D’BANJ
FADA FADA – PHYNO FEAT. OLAMIDE
MONEY – TIMAYA FEAT. FLAVOUR

BEST REGGAE/DANCEHALL SINGLE
*NO KISSING’ – PATORANKING FT SARKODIE* Winner
BODY HOT – PRAIZ FT. JESSE JAGZ & STONE
BWOY
JAGA LOVE – JESSE JAGZ
OLOWO – CYNTHIA MORGAN
PAM PAM – KETCHUP
TIMAYA – I LIKE THE WAY

BEST RAP ALBUM
EYAN MAYWEATHER – OLAMIDE
*POWERFUL – ILL BLISS* Winner
STORIES THAT TOUCH – FALZ
LIL’ KESH – YAGI

BEST COLLABO
*SOLDIER – FALZ FEAT. SIMI* Winner
REGGAE BLUES – HARRYSONG FEAT.
OREZI, IYANYA, OLAMIDE, KCEE
OSINACHI – HUMBLESMITH FEAT. DAVIDO
WAIT – SOLIDSTAR FEAT. TIWA SAVAGE
NO KISSING – PATORANKING FEAT.
SARKODIE
MONEY – TIMAYA FEAT. FLAVOUR

BEST RAP SINGLE
*EYAN MAYWEATHER – OLAMIDE* Winner
ASAMALEKUN – REMINISCE
JAGABAN – YCEE
CHUKWU AGOZI GOGI – ILL BLISS
AGU JI NDI MEN – A-Q
SHOW YOU SOMETHING – BOOGEY

BEST VOCAL PERFORMANCE(MALE)
BRYMO – SOMETHING GOOD IS HAPPENING
DAREY FEAT. SOWETO CHOIR – PRAY FOR
ME
*SHAYDEE – SMILE* Winner
WANDE COAL – SUPER WOMAN
RIC HASSANI – GENTLEMAN

BEST VOCAL PERFORMANCE (FEMALE)
*SIMI – LOVE DON’T CARE* Winner
SEYI SHAY – RIGHT NOW
ARAMIDE FEAT. ADEKUNLE GOLD – LOVE
ME
OMAWUMI FEAT. ANGELIE KIDJO – PLAY
NA PLAY

NEXT RATED

YCEE
*MR EAZI*
HUMBLESMITH
ARAMIDE

HIP HOP WORLD REVELATION
*KISS DANIEL – NEW ERA* Winner
SEYI SHAY – SEYI OR SHAY
LIL’ KESH – YAGI
RUNTOWN – GHETTO UNIVERSITY

LYRICIST ON THE ROLL
*ILL BLISS – CHUKWU AGOZI GOGI* Winner
REMINSCE – ASALAMALEKU
YCEE – JAGABAN
BOOGEY – SHOW YOU SOMETHING
A-Q – AGU JI NDI MEN’
MODENINE – NO MATTER WHAT

BEST STREET-HOP ARTISTE
*OLAMIDE – WHO YOU EPP* Winner
AJEBUTTER FEAT. FALZ – BAD GANG
KOKER – KO LE WERK
YCEE – JAGABAN
SMALL DOKTA – GBERA
2T BOYS – CUSTOMER DADA NI

BEST ‘ALTERNATIVE’ SONG
PICK UP – ADEKUNLE GOLD
SOMETHING GOOD IS HAPPENING – BRYMO
*YOU SUPPOSE KNOW – BEZ* (Winner)
WAIT FOR ME – JOHNNY DRILLE
GENTLEMAN – RIC HASSANI

ALBUM OF THE YEAR
STORIES THAT TOUCH – FALZ
*NEW ERA – KISS DANIEL* Winner
WANTED – WANDE COAL
SEYI OR SHAY – SEYI SHAY

ARTISTE OF THE YEAR
*WIZKID* Winner
TIWA SAVAGE
FALZ
YEMI ALADE
OLAMIDE

SONG OF THE YEAR
FINAL (BABA NLA) – WIZKID
OSINACHI – HUMBLESMITH FEAT. DAVIDO
PICK UP – ADEKUNLE GOLD
REGGAE BLUES – HARRYSONG FEAT.
*FADA FADA – PHYNO FEAT. OLAMIDE* Winner

Wedding Invitation

I was invited to a wedding.. when I
reached the hotel I found two doors
written
1. Wedding ceremony.
2. Birthday ceremony.
I entered the one written wedding
ceremony I saw two more doors.
1. Invited.
2. Non invited.
I went through invited, then I approached
another two doors.
1. Graduate.
2. under graduate.
I entered graduate, then I saw two more
doors.
1. people with gifts
2. people without gift
I went through the one written people
without gifts. Then…
I found myself outside the
hotel through the back door! And on the door was
written
“so u no bring
anytin and u wan come eat free jollof rice n chicken
eh? YOU DEY CRAZE!!”

Facts About Women….Find Out!

Do you know?..
1) An average woman eats about 2-3 kilos of lipstick in her lifetime.
2) Women blink about 2 times more often than men. Interesting why?
3) A woman will more easily trust somebody who hugs her for at least 15 seconds.
4) 80% of women’s wrinkles are caused by excessive sun exposure.
5) Women usually tie the belt of a dressing gown higher than their belly button, while men tie it lower.
6) A woman doesn’t like it when her hands are free, this is why she is likely to carry with her a purse, gloves, a book or…something else…
7) The first computer programmer was a woman. Her name is Ada Lovelace.
8) According to researches, an average woman spends about 120 hours a year looking at herself in the mirror, which is approximately 5 entire days a year!
9) After making love, women don’t feel like sleeping. They feel like talking and kissing.
10) While turning to the call, a woman usually just turns her head, while a man will turn his entire body. It’s because women have more flexible neck.
11) While making love, a woman worries about whether she looks pretty.
12) A woman opens beer bottles with a beer bottle opener.
13) Ladies close their ears with fingers, while men – with hands.
14) When you ask a woman to give you a lighter, she won’t test the speed of your reaction, she will just give it to you.
15) A woman prefers that her man reads her desires in her eyes…this is why communication between the two genders often gets complicated.

Don’t take it seriously, these are just funny facts.
Lol…
Chidex!

Christmas Divorce

A man in Malawi calls his son in South Africa last week
& says, “I hate to ruin your day but I have to tell you
that your mother and I are divorcing, forty-five
years of misery is enough”.

“Dad, what are you talking about?'” the
son screams.
“We can’t stand the sight of each other
any longer”, the father says.
“We’re
sick of each other and I’m sick of
talking about this, so you call your
sister in USA and tell her”.

Frantically, the son calls his sister,
who explodes on the phone, “Like hell
they’re getting divorced”, she shouts,
“I’ll take care of this”.
She calls home immediately and
screams at her father, “You are NOT
getting divorced.
Don’t do a single thing
until I get there.

I’m calling my brother
back and we’ll both be there tomorrow.
Until then, don’t do a thing, DO YOU
HEAR ME?”and hangs up.
The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife.
.
“I told you, it’s done! They are coming home for
Christmas” 😀😀😀
.
Wish You A Merry Christmas in advance friends and
family ! ! ! ! !😹😹😹😹
I am Chidex!

MMM Jokes

When MMM froze my money, I thought about it and I found out that life without MMM MONEY would be meaningless. So I decided to kill myself. . I jumped from my reading table to my very soft Mouka foam but I didn’t die. I went to the express road and looked carefully before crossing the road and nothing happened to me. . I drank four rubbers of lacasera with plenty suya but nothing happened,,I tooked a lot of mangoes without swallowing the seeds,yet I didn’t see hell!. . I proceeded to another level of concotion. I prepared gizzard and kidney sauce with strawberry juice and lots of fresh tomatoes,yet nothing happened to me. I ate cake,chocolate mixed with ice cream still I didn’t die. Am so worried now because I just finished eating fried rice with chilled Malta Guinness and fresh fruit salad but nothing has happened to me. I am really upset now. . Friends,what do I do? Should I try fried plantain and chicken with fresh milk? Will it work because I really want to kill myself?

Compare and Contrast

• Big Brother Africa sponsored by Coca-Cola: $300,000 (N48m)
• Maltina Dance: N10 million.
• MTN Project Fame: N7.5million & SUV.
• Etisalat’s Nigerian Idol: N5m & multi-million Naira contracts.
• Glo Naija Sings: N5million & SUV.
• Gulder ultimate search: N10m plus endorsements & SUV.
BUT
COWBELL Mathematics competition: N100k
Lagos State Spelling Bee: N50k
• School scrabble: N25k.
• Cool-FM spelling game: A goodie bag filled with Amiladrink.
• UNN BEST Graduating Student: N50k
And someone is asking and wondering why there is
so much failure in WAEC n JAMB???
Soon a time will come when parents will no longer say: Read your books and get good grades but “Read your lyrics and make a hit song!”
Lol
I am Chidex