hahahaha! i can’t stop Laughing o! Check it out yourself!

Pidgin Proverbs
.
1. Na for old age ashawo dey know the value of pikin.
2. Woman wey never see problem.. Na im dey still hold breast run.
3. Woman wey dey find pikin no dey wear pant sleep.
4. Rat wey follow lizard enter rain, na later é go hear am.
5. Na for afternoon dem dey find black goat.
6. Weather hot!! É No mean say fowl go lay boiled egg.
7. EYE WEY DEY CRY DEY SEE ROAD.
8. Pikin wey him mama back cross water, wey say him march fish, wetin him mama go march?
9. Small pikin wey dem carry for back no know say the journey far.
10. Person wey don faint before no be
stranger to death.
11. Person wey chop belle full, no know wetin hungry man dey see.
12. No be as woman dey close eye enjoy sex she dey enjoy labour pains.
13. Yansh no get teeth but e dey cut shit.
14. Lizard wey fall from tall iroko tree, if nobody hail am!! é go hail himself
15. IF GIRL TAKE HUSBAND DO BOYFRIEND, SHE GO TAKE BOYFRIEND DO HUSBAND.
16. Cockroach wey jam fowl, jam bad luck.
17. Na cricket tell him children say, No matter how ground strong, Them no go sleep outside.
18. Pikin wey say him mama no fine dey use style call him papa blind man.
19. No be eye wey dem take chop eba dem take dey share meat.
20. Person wey use Elephant set trap, na him know wetin he wan Catch.
21. When Breeze Blow Fowl Yash Go Open.
22. STUDENT WEY READ NA HIM SERIOUS, BUT STUDENT WEY PASS NA HIM KNOW BOOK.
23. Dem no dey tell tortoise say race don start.
24. Dem no dey tell blind man say salt no dey for food.
25. Before you see monkey, monkey don see you.
26. Thief wey jump fence enter house
where owner dey wait for am, no go jump again.
27. If pikin say he sabi die, him papa sef go tell am say him sabi bury.
28. Na wetin dey sweet for goat mouth, Na im dey kill am.
29. If e be like say everybody dey craze” na you dey craze.
30. Meat wey you dey forbid, no use your teeth cut am.
31. My thing and our thing no be the same oh.
32. Na happiness dey make prick stand.
33. Na as goat stand for market dem dey price am.
34. Craze no hard to form, na the trekking be wahala.
35. Its a small world!! No mean say you fit trek from Naija go London.
36. No matter how hot your temper be, e no fit boil beans.
37. Chicken wey run from Borno go Ibadan go still end up inside pot of soup.
38. Today’s newspaper na tomorrow Suya wrap.
39. Akara and moi moi get the same parent, na wetin dem pass through make dem different.
Person wey no go comment for this joke, na low battery go spoil im phn.

Hilarious! MORNING JOKE!

I was eating Amala and enjoying my drinkaround 4pm, a man entered the restaurantwith a brief case. I guess he was a big politician bcos his dressing and pot belly portrays it.He walked and sat down as everybody looked at him. Suddenly a woman came tohim and started crying. The woman knelt down and told him that her children and herself want to die of hunger since her husband died. This man opened the brief case and gave dis woman N500,000. The woman jumped up and left the scene in happiness.I was still watching when another man started crying and came to him. He knelt down and begged him that he needed money to establish his bizness. This man brought out N10,000,000 (Ten Million Naira Cheque) and he gave this man.This time, I started murmuring and practicing on the lie I would blow to have my own national cake. I started crying andwent to the man. Immediately I knelt down, I heard “Cut!! Cut!! Cut!!”. I turned and saw the director of the movie. He laughed and said “oh boy na movie we dey shoot here” ooHahahahahah shame wan kill me. Chaii!!Economy recession no go kill person lol.…😷😷

45-yr-old driver rapes 80-yr-old woman in Ekiti

An Ado Ekiti High Court on Monday sentenced a 45-year-old commercial driver, Lawrence Adedapo, to seven years imprisonment for raping an 80-year-old woman, Madam Grace Asaolu.The sentence on Adedapo has brought to five the number of persons convicted for the offence in the last two years in the area with one of them bagging life sentence.Before his sentence on Monday, the Presiding Justice Dele Omotoso said he convicted Adedapo based on evidence before the court which showed that the driver forcefully had carnal knowledge of the old woman and was guilty as charged.According to the court, the convict sexually assaulted the octogenarian on Nov. 7, 2013 at Oke Erimope Street, Ogbese, Ise-Ekiti and was subsequently charged to court.In the course of the trial, Adedapo was said to have pleaded not guilty to the charge and gave evidence in his own defence, but called no witness to back his claims.In his testimony, Adedapo, who described the old woman as his “mother as well as his concubine” whom he had been dating as far back as his bachelor days, claimed that Asaolu framed him up.He claimed that the old woman had earlier approached him for a sum of money to travel to her village, but on that date, she walked into his room and demanded for the money.The driver claimed that the old woman started romancing him which eventually led to a sexualintercourse after he had given her N1,000.The prosecution, led by the Attorney General andCommissioner for Justice, Owoseni Ajayi, gave evidence that the convict confessed to have been dating the woman before the incident and that she consented to the sexual intercourse.Ajayi tendered the blood-stained clothes of the victim which was recovered from the scene of the incident.The trial judge resolved all issues in determination against Adedapo and consequently sentenced him to a jail term of seven years for having unlawful carnal knowledge of the old woman.

you won’t believe this! check it out!

BREAKING NEWS.
BAYERN WILL NOT TRAVEL TO ARSENAL FOR 2nd LEG. German giant Bayern Munich say they will not travel for their 2nd leg UCL encounter against Arsenal bcus it will be a waste of resources. According to UCL rules, if a team does not show up for a game their opponents are automatically awarded 3pts &3 goals, so, even if Bayern does not go to Ar5ena1,they will still qualify via 5-4 goal aggregate

Morning joke! very funny

Last week there was a program
going on in the company Ofego
works in titled “Love feast”. This
is a program whereby, you will
buy a gift, wrap and package it,
and exchange with another
person who brings a gift. So last
week, Ofego did not have much
money with him and he did not
want to miss the program
because, he must gain a nice gift
from someone. So he decided to
buy anything. He went and
bought garri, you know that
garri that is usually heavy , so
he packaged the garri in form of
television, he bought a carton of
television, put the garri inside
and supported it with a heavy
stone which he packaged like a
television. When it was the day,
people were dragging, battling,
and struggling to sit beside him
because they wanted to
exchange their own gift with his.
(Una don die today) He said in
his mind.” Finally a female
colleague who also brought her
own gift sat near him, her gift
has the shape of a fridge, he did
not know what was inside but
he believed it would be a nice
gift. (I don hammer” He said in
his mind. So when it got to the
time of exchanging of gifts, Ofego
and the girl both exchanged
their gifts and she looked
excited. He ran home quickly
before the girl would change her
mind.
When he got home, he locked his
door and windows, very happy
that he had cheated the girl and
collected her nice gift but prior
to that, he begged God for
forgiveness because he did not
know what came over him to
cheat her. When he opened the
gift, behold!!!!! He saw two bags
of sand with two heavy stones
bigger than the stone he put
inside his own gift. When he
opened the bag of sand he saw a
written note, which read: “I saw
you yesterday when you were
packaging your own garri and
stone, you think you are wise
abi?.”

O.M.G! you cant believe this! How to get a Sugar Daddy! Number 5 will shock you

1)Wake up one early morning.
yea, you are healthy and hearty.
2)Walk straight to the bathroom,
brush your teeth and shower
immediately.
3)Towel your body, walk back to
your bedroom, lotion your body
mildly, put on your favorite
clothe, apply your make-up and
don’t forget to wear that high
fragrance perfume of yours.
(wow! You are looking gorgeous)
4)Step out of your house, wait
for a cab at the near by bus-
stop.
5)Go to any Shop-rite nearest to
you or any Shopping Mall..
6)Walk in majestically, buy
three packets of Golden Penny
white cube Sugar, a pink
coloured bowel and two bottles
of Eva water.
7)Go back home, empty the
packets of sugar in the pink
coloured bowel and mix it with
the Eva water. (stir vigorously)
8)Store in a cool dry place
9) Finally, wait until your Dad is
fast asleep and pour it on him..
(Hurray!!!, you just have a
“Sugar Daddy”).
Don’t Thank me,, what are
friends for?

BARCELONA AND ARSENAL,this is a good solution to guys!

BARCELONA AND ARSENAL,This is a good solution to win your second leg match!

*Barcelona* may need this line up in the 2nd leg to qualify

Spiderman

Merlin Hon-kong Thor

Harry-Potter

Swarzeneger
Bat-Man Superman

Jet-Li Jackie Chan

Don Yen

Subs: Antman, Hulk, under taker, Green Lantern,Captain-Planet and Ong-bak

😂😂😂😂😂😂

For Arsenal, even the shaolin soccer squad wnt be able to help

🙆🏽‍♂😂😂😂😂😂😂

When He Tries To Dump You Before Valentine’s Day (Hilarious Photo)

For the chicks in the house these are 4 sure steps to hook ur guys before val…

1) twerk for him on Feb 10

2) wear short skirt and do more twerking on Feb 11

3) do Unclad twerkiing on Feb 12, make sure there is a ‘rub’ then leave him hanging, tell him to wait for Val’s day that there would be full action

4) tell him what you want for val and wait for results

Believe me he would be calling u for val…he dey work wella.

9 Things You Will Never Find In Nigerians’ Waste Bins During This Recession

In this quagmire state of the nation, life has now become so unbearable that the prices of all commodities have doubled/tripled up. People are now very economical as they no longer spend unnecessarily nor waste food stuffs

Without wasting time, below are the things you will barely find in people’s waste bin during this recession . Burnt Foods

You can notice this when you want to dispose waste materials to PSP officials. Take a glance at the disposal carriage of their vehicles and you will never see any burnt food disposed by people. It’s either you find biscuit nylons, sweet wraps, broken buckets, etc. This means that people now stay glued to the kitchens watching over their foods just to avoid a story that touches the heart. Even if the food gets burnt, they will carefully scrap the underneath of the pot and will still eat it.

2. Rice

 

Gone are those days when people used to throw their leftovers into the waste bins when they can no longer consume it, but recession has brought about changes, whereby, almost every citizen now has a peak milk tin used for measuring rice for a perfect gauge, considering the fact that a bag of rice can now buy plot of land in places like Mowe and Ibafo.

3. Spaghetti Nylon

The price of spag has now increased by 250%, therefore, only the rich can afford to buy it. In fact, the demand for spag has drastically reduced to the extent that many spaghetti companies are now folding up. To be very sincere with you, Tosyne2much has not eaten spaghetti for the past six months so how do you even find the nylon in my waste bin? Never!!

4. Empty Can Milk

Another thing you will hardly find in Nigerians’ waste bin in this period of recession are empty cans of Peak milk, Three Crown, etc. The prices of these commodities are not smiling on youths at all. What you’re liable to find are empty Cowbell wraps, Jago milk wraps and the likes. This is because people now settle for sachet milk rather than can milk

5. Condom Packs

This sounds very funny but it’s very true. Most guys are now broke that they can’t even boast of one square meal a day let alone three square meal. Guys now channel their little energy on things that will brighten their future rather than sex. Now that most states can’t pay salaries, most guys are starving and they won’t even have the energy to bleep a lady for 30 seconds let alone one hour. You will barely spot condom packs in waste bins because “na person wey chop bellyful go fit get the energy to satisfy ladies for bed nah”

6. Egg Shell

The last time I priced a crate of egg, I had to dish insults and rain curses on the seller thinking he wanted to scam me, unknown to me that a crate of egg is now being sold at N1, 100. Many people can no longer eat eggs anymore because of the hike as they now settle for mushrooms and kote fish.

7. Empty Noodles Packs

Empty noodles packs are the common thrashes you would find in almost every waste bin in Lagos but now, spotting empty noodles packs in waste bins has become a thing of the past. On a very serious note, finding a pack of noodles in waste bins in this period of recession is likened to finding a Nigerian politician that doesn’t embezzle public fund.

8. Bournvita/Milo Cans

An average Nigerian student likes to buy beverages every semester but recently, recession has robbed many students of these things and barely would you find them in their rooms nor waste bins.

9. Corn Flakes Packs

Many students will agree with me that most ladies normally use corn flakes packs to decorate their rooms so as to intimidate their fellow students and visitors by positioning it on their trolly for them to see. But recently, people now use empty corn flakes packs to design their rooms even without anything in it. I once visited a lady last week and when she went outside to get me a chilled soft drink, I spotted a corn flakes on her trolly and wanted to eat some, only for me to find ridiculous things such phone charger, desktop and USB cables.